Anticipating vacation

It’s Monday morning and I’m at work. The woman who usually takes my place & serves as Secretary on Mon. and Tues. is out of town today, so we switched days this week & I will have Thursday off instead of today! It’s odd waking up on a Monday and getting ready for work - it’s hard actually! But I’m glad it worked out this way today - after this weekend I just needed a break. Let me just say in a nutshell, it’s exhausting being a parent.. and more often than not. I found myself greatly losing my patience Sunday morning before Church and I feel so bad when I’m like that. Then I feel bad even going to Church when I realize how un-Christ-like I’ve been to my family all morning! It was hard for me to even worship God and praise him in song - my most favorite part of going to Church - because I just felt so horrible about how I’d acted all morning. I want God to change me and make me more patient and loving. If I have a bad temper, then my children are going to model me and I’m going to have to deal with their bad tempers inevitably! Not good. So I pray that God would make me more loving, patient, and gentle, in my words and in my actions, toward my husband and children (and everyone, of course). I want to be like Jesus to them - I want them to see Jesus in me - in the way I act.

Anyway, as for the rest of the weekend.. Saturday morning my Mom came up & cut my hair - it's very short and I love it. It's so quick to do and so much cooler and will be ideal for when we're on vacation! After my haircut, we ran some errands as a family and went to a greenhouse where my Mother-in-law told me they had lots of perennials for only 1.99! So I got 4 plants (as if I need more plants, I know) ..but you can't pass up that kind of a deal, especially on plants that will bloom year after year! After that, we went to Gino's, Chris' favorite pizza place, and we ordered 2 small pizza's to go and while we waited for them, we walked down to this little children's bookstore and the girls had fun playing. :) It was such a fun treat for Chris since we never get pizza from Gino's... and I actually don't like it that much, but I know how much he does, so that’s why we went there. So we went home & ate lunch and then all of us took naps, which means Chris didn't accomplish anything at our house again... It's amazing how he'll skip taking a nap when he has to do things for others, but when it comes to our house - he’ll take a nap instead! I am SO tired of looking at my half-torn up bathroom - I just want a new floor and I want the walls to look nice again around the shower/tub. Will it ever get done? Sure... someday. I know, I know, I'm incredibly blessed to have the hard-working husband I have, so I should be thankful… but I just feel like his job and everyone else gets the most attention from him and we, his family, just get what is left after everyone else is served. When he’s home long enough to spend time with us, he is too tired to do anything. I’ll say “let’s take the girls on a walk” or “let’s do some gardening” or whatever, and he just rarely has energy to do it. Of course there are those occasions that we do things and he gets a lot accomplished at our house. Anyhow, his insanely busy work schedule just makes us look forward to vacation all the more - Chloe & Maya & I won’t know what to do seeing him day in & day out - 24/7! It will be so nice…

So - back to our weekend... Sunday after Church we took our usual trip to the grocery store with the girls and we bought a couple bags full of stuff just for vacation - lots of fun snacks and things we don’t usually buy. And then after lunch when everyone took naps, I decided not to, so I could accomplish something… it’s a toss up between sleeping or doing things - cuz I feel better after I sleep, but I also feel better when I know I’ve made the most of my time by getting things done around the house! So I opted to not take a nap and finished planting some flowers and also washed the dishes and made some chocolate peanut butter brownies to take to dinner at the in-law’s that night. It’s always wonderful to do things by myself, without children whining, or hanging on me and I love having time alone doing gardening stuff outside. So even though I was exhausted & should’ve napped, I had a new energy after accomplishing all those things.

Sunday night we went to the in-laws for dinner for Father’s Day and I feel bad - cuz I’m not so sure they’re looking forward to living with us and our 2 kids for a whole week! Maya is a “mommy’s girl” big time lately and she will just cry & fuss if she isn’t being held by ME half the time. She has her moments where she plays well and is laughing & running around, but she also has many moments where she throws tantrums and cries & whines A LOT. And I feel like my ‘parenting skills’ are constantly being questioned by everyone around me - especially in how I deal with my difficult little Maya. She’ll be going nuts or screaming like crazy & I feel like people will just look at me with a look on their face that says, “What is she going to do?” And I feel like I’m probably never doing the right thing. Everyone has their own opinion, though, when it comes to parenting and there will always be people who probably talk about you later and criticize how you handle your children, especially when they’re misbehaving. Oh well, I guess. You just do the best you can and try & ignore the stares of others, as your child acts up and you react in the ‘best’ way you know how. I’m telling you, parenting is tough! You don’t realize, and you can never fully comprehend, what it will be like to be a Mom or Dad, especially when you are in the stages of just ‘dreaming’ of having a child - and you get excited at the smell of baby lotion and folding cute, tiny little outfits (ok, maybe that was just me!) and you have no clue the struggles and the mental breakdowns you will endure, once you have a baby & once that cute little baby grows into an active little toddler! haha. Oh well… life can’t always be a smooth ride, right?

Anyway, this week will be spent anticipating and planning for vacation. Maya is so cranky and driving in the car is no exception - getting her to sit in the car seat for 5 or so hours will be a challenge to say the least. I’m afraid of going nuts during the car ride there and Chris is afraid of his company falling to pieces while he’s away. But I think overall we’re still looking forward to going… I just hope we have enough to do from a Saturday to a Saturday! I’m kind of bummed we don’t have a pool to swim in, like you would if you were staying at a resort or hotel, since the girls love swimming so much! The lake which our house is on will be much too cold for swimming, and the temperatures up there are only supposed to be in the high 60s - maybe mid 70s. It will be nice - but not swimming or playing at the beach kinda’ weather!

Well, I am tired of typing so I guess I'll end it here. Have a happy week...