Life...

I feel like it’s time to write a ‘real’ update for a change. Life just isn’t slowing down in my world, as you can see by how often I write on here.

Well, what I thought would be a “wake up call” for Chris - being hospitalized & injured, turned out not to be, which is sad. He is still working WAY too much and he is back to his normal routine. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I am discouraged and I am tired of it all. I’m tired of being the wife of someone who owns 2 companies. And now work is slowing down and there’s many outstanding invoices, so he won’t be hiring anyone in the near future, as far as a Secretary goes. He had a really rough day on Monday and said something to the effect of being ready to just close the whole thing down. I was surprised at how that statement was just music to my ears. Many days I just long for a husband who works 9 to 5 and doesn’t bring work home with him, and who has time on the evenings & weekends JUST for his family… and who doesn’t have to stay up till 1 a.m. every night working, and ends up grumpy ALL the time from lack of sleep. I just want life to be different. It is exhausting for me, just to stand by & watch him overwork himself, and I can’t even imagine how exhausting it must be for him. My energy to “restructure” the company is gone and I just want my husband back. I feel like he’s missing out tremendously on the joys of life… like the joy of playing with your kids & enjoying them. There are so many things he is missing out on because his work is so consuming him.

You know what is funny - we carefully choose our spouses - making sure we have found just the ‘right one’ for us… But do we just as carefully choose our occupations? Think about it - most people spend more time at their jobs than they do at home. And where you spend most of your time and how you spend it, is greatly going to affect EVERY other area of your life. So if Chris spends more than half his time working and dealing with aggravated customers and arguing with people - how do you think he’s going to feel when he is finally home & around his wife & kids? Exhausted, overworked, having no patience for his children, etc… which makes for a hard life for all of us. The famous phrase I hear every other day (if not more) is: “It’s been a rough day” or “It’s been a bad day.” I usually say something in reply like: “That excuse is getting old, it’s always a bad day for you.”

So that’s life with my husband.

On a different topic, tonight we’re going to carve pumpkins as a family. Let’s hope that goes well and that no one is cranky. Tomorrow I am taking the morning off work because it’s “Fall Fun Day” at Chloe’s preschool. She has to wear her Halloween costume to school and then the kids will parade around the Church and sing some songs they learned and then have games & crafts in the gym. I volunteered to head up a game, so I’m doing “Pumpkin Bowling.” Let’s hope it goes well. Hopefully I’ll get to bond with Jonah’s Mom, Sarah, again. That would be nice.

What else… Well, Maya is getting a molar.. So she’s working on 5 teeth all at once. What a mess & cranky child that makes. I could probably change her shirt every few hours she is drooling so much. She is still sleeping awful, too… Last night she woke up every 3 hours on the dot. When she first goes to sleep - around 8:45 or 9:00 - she will usually sleep till about 12 and then we're usually awake at 3 and 6. UGHHHHHH…. The worst part is that I know it’s ALL my own fault that she sleeps so poorly, but I have no idea how to make it better. Even when she does eat good meals throughout the day, she still wakes up multiple times thru the night & wants milk. So she doesn’t need the milk for nourishment, she just wants it out of habit I guess, or to soothe her. How do I change that? Let her scream her lungs out all night long and then have to deal with 2 children who are awake (no doubt a screaming Maya would wake up Chloe) and then also deal with a VERY angry & exhausted husband. So you see why I’m putting off trying to go cold turkey when it comes to Maya & the bottle through the night. Perhaps it would work if I don’t let her have a bottle at bedtime. Maybe if I change the bedtime routine, so she doesn’t drink a bottle lying in bed, right before falling asleep, then when she wakes up during the night, she will realize she doesn’t need a bottle to fall back asleep. I don’t know. Sounds good. Probably won’t work. Too bad I’m pessimistic, I know.

Well, that’s all I can think of for now. Sorry it was nothing but me sharing life’s challenges with you!